FAQ

Q: What is good fan fiction?
A: Anything that we've written.

Q: No, seriously, what is good fan fiction?
A: We are serious.

Q: *sigh* How can I write good fan fiction, without morphing into either of you?
A: Ah. Um... good question. Rosalinda doesn't know how to answer that, but Michelle is mumbling something about a guide.

Q: Can you recommend any other fan fiction sites?
A: Sure! There's the incredibly risque Donatella's Head, and the aptly named Godawful Fanfic , and -

Q: No! I meant Journey fan fiction!
A: Oh. Try the Library. You don't need a card.

Q: Who are you?
A: Rosalinda StMatthew and Michelle Perry.

Q: So who is that?
A: Well, it's Rosalinda StMatthew and Michelle Perry. Of course, if you didn't read the answer the first time you asked, then this is probably a waste of time.

Q: Why do you hate Journey so much?
A: Because we're lame and pathetic people that like to pay complete strangers for webspace for the express purpose of getting back at a rock band for whatever they did or did not do to please us personally. Hello!?!? This website is not cheap. If we hated them, we could certainly figure out thriftier ways to display our hatred.

Q: Well, if you don't hate them, why do you say such nasty things about them?
A: That depends. A number of the "nasty" things you're reading about them are not the result of any dislike towards any member of Journey. They may be a reflection of other stories we've been reading on the 'Net. They may have been inspired by some conversations that were had with other Netizens. They may have been the sordid result of too much time and too much access to Photoshop 5. And they might simply have been fantasies that we enjoyed sharing with each other - so why not share them with the rest of the world?

Q: You guys are sick!
A: Please phrase that in the form of a question.

Q: But what if one of the guys see these stories?
A: HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE LOVE YOU, JONATHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU, STEVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ROSS ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SMITTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Neal.

Q: No, I meant, what if they don't like what they see? What if they asked you to take it down? How would that make you feel?
A: Like somebody from Journey spoke to us.

Q: Don't you worry about children visiting this site?
A: No.

Q: What about people that are offended by violence, profanity, homoerotica, and the like?
A Number one: One of these things is not like the other...
A Number two: Allow us to direct your attention to the upper right-hand corner of your screen. There should be a number of symbols embedded in your browser window. One of them, generally found farthest to the right, should look like a letter "X". If at anytime anything on this site offends you to the point of self-flagellation, you may be inclined to activate that particular symbol, and end the torment.

Q: Why are you so sarcastic?
A: Because it's so much more socially acceptable than being murderous.

Q: Why do you spy on people?
A: What the fuck?????

Q: I've heard that you collect information about your visitors. Is that true?
A: Nnnnnooooooooo.

Q: How do I know you're telling the truth?
A: You don't.

Q: So you do!
A: Dude, get a grip. Even if we did, what the hell could we do with it? Email you back?

Q: Are you accepting submissions?
A: Not at this time.

Q: What? Why the hell not?
A: Because we said so, dammit. Don't argue.

Q: Are you really women?
A: No. Actually, we're two men posing as women, so that we can get in on the lesbian porno chat. Yes, dumbass, we're women.

Q: Why don't you have any pictures?
A: But we do...

Q: Besides the background border thingies. Why don't you have any image pages?
A: We don't have a specific photo page because this is a fan fiction site. There are a number of places to obtain photos of Steve Perry, and any other member of Journey if you so desire.

Q: Now we're getting somewhere. Where can I find these photos?
A: Try Corbis. They have a fine selection of Journey pics to search through, if you don't mind their fairly unobtrusive watermark. Some people would rather skip the watermark and the professional looking finish, in favor of sheer volume. For those people, there's Webshots. If you're desperate, you can try searching for Steve Perry on Ebay. (If you try searching Journey, you'll get everything under the sun, and if you search for any other band member, you won't come up with as many full band photos.)

Q: So why do you write about violence?
A: Because it happens.

Q: But do you want it to happen to Journey?
A: No! Hasn't enough happened to them? They're all old enough to have had plenty of brushes with death without our interference.

Q: I'm confused.
A: That's okay. Just don't hurt yourself.

Q: STEVE PERRY IS NOT GAY!!!!
A: Okaaaaaay...

Q: SO QUIT SAYING THAT HE IS!!!!!
A: You know what? Steve Perry is not married to a record exec's daughter named Beth Westlake, he wasn't dating anyone by the name of Monica when Frontiers was released, he has no magical powers, and he's never been deaf, dumb, or blind. It's fiction. Fake. Not real. Didn't happen. All made up. Phoney. F I C T I O N. Understand?

Q: Are *you* gay??
A: That depends. Are you cute?


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